The social bubbles are the root of it all. People naturally cluster and form community. Prior to globalization our first communities were familial, or derived through kinship. The Scottish sense of clan is a group of people with strong familial and kinship bonds. Networks like these also supported settlers in their first years on the harsh Canadian plots of land that were granted to them. Marriage and kinship also established initial links between French and English fur traders and the Indigenous tribes living in the territories they worked. Marriage into a family symbolized longevity and established trust between two kinship groups. Kinship groups or clans that were loosely interconnected grew into tribes, the early Indigenous communities that cohabitated to ensure survival.
We view the same behaviours in all of the herding animal species. If we were to trace the kinship patterns within a herd, we may see grandmothers, mothers and daughters and in some species the subservient sons and the alpha male. Two herds may come together if the alpha male drives off a weaker alpha and takes responsibility for his herd.
Kinship groups and tribes needed to stay open to others. Even animals understand that their line weakens quickly when they lose diversity and family ties become too closely knit. Indigenous stories of ancient ways and times talk about gatherings, where tribes come together in times of celebration to intermingle.
Over time other types of groups began to form. These groups were formed by like-minded individuals and may include a common cause. At times, these groups formed for warring, exploring, trading or for survival during difficult times. The ways that individuals came together to support each other during strife built a type of brethren bond that extended beyond family, kinship, race or religion. This is the ironic way that war and strife unites those that come together around a common cause. A weird but common phenomena is the unbreakable bond felt by those who have survived trauma together. Learning that someone will protect you from harm or even death forms a bond of trust that is literally unbreakable. This is also the way that the idea of an ‘enemy’ is born.
If you’ve ever viewed a herd of horses stand off against a predator species like a pack of wolves, you have witnessed a community coming together to face a common threat.
It is important to reflect on the cohesiveness of a community. They are most cohesive when individuals need each other and unite around a common vision. The community becomes more loosely connected in times of plenty and can become fractured when divided thought rises up within the ranks. When security and comfort are achieved for extended lengths of time, individuals turn their energy away from survival and begin to compare their ‘lot’ to the ‘lot’ of their neighbour leading to divisiveness. This has been called the comparative concern.
Biblical stories teach us about times when communities divide. Cain and Abel provide us an example of brothers who come to war. Cain creates fear and loathing amongst his kin and is cast out of the community, left to survive in isolation. It is said across many cultures that ostracizing an individual from a community is one of the most severe punishments. Many Indigenous cultures only resorted to these steps when absolutely necessary because it was said to create enemies. Shame and guilt are emotional counterparts to the fear of being ‘cast out’. It is these moments when the herd breaks that a community will divide. What happens next, and whether or not those new factions are competing for resources, or harbour resentments determines if they become peaceful neighbours or enemies. Communities war against each other due to fear, greed or revenge, in retribution for past actions. In Buddhism, anger is viewed as a destructive emotion for its power to divide.
It is said that the surest way to societal upheaval is when vast differences in prosperity are apparent between intersecting communities. In fact, civil war can be predicted in a society where large numbers of the population have low economic means and a small number have extreme wealth with an obvious divide between the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’. I believe popular media, our societal focus on having more and the ways that wealth is flaunted in Western cultures exacerbates this divide with an exponential effect.
A sense of community, kinship and familial ties are essential for shared prosperity. Divisiveness steals our sense of safety. When we don’t trust, we are more likely to turn our backs on our neighbours. The pain of ‘being left out’ breeds anger and eventually hatred. When a group of those who feel like outsiders unite, a new community is formed that is centred on this hatred. They develop customs and rituals that are built around the anger and hatred. They build strength through war. They lose compassion for ‘the others’ and celebrate the suffering they see and can cause for others. They build a sense of righteousness from taking what they believe they’ve been denied. They lose empathy for all individuals that are outside of their circle.
Our internet-based world and social media-based ties do a few things to fuel the embers of discord that exist across communities. Popular culture celebrates wealth and privilege, placing individuals on pedestals who have not earned the esteem they are offered. I believe this trend to idolization goes against one of the Christian Ten Commandments, although I’ve rarely heard it interpreted that way. In my opinion, this is truly ‘placing false Gods before me’. Social media enhances this effect by creating superficial and constructed fishbowls of our lives. The focus moves to appearances and depth and substance of communication and relating is lost and meaningless. Finally, the opportunity to connect is at an all-time high, so outsiders find ‘like-minded’ counterparts in ways they never could in prior generations. The foundation of this is that more people feel unworthy (unlikely to be celebrated due to their lack of wealth and privilege), isolated and misunderstood (symptoms of shallow social media connectedness), and hungry to be accepted by a group of outsiders that share their pain. The trifecta of these emotions can make anyone vulnerable to those voices that communicate a powerful, hateful, vision and if we were fruit, we would be ‘ripe’ for the picking.
Through our own actions, our affinities and our inactions, we are creating the uncertainty that will enhance the divisiveness in our communities. We are riding a ticking time bomb to chaos, war and suffering and somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that we are all ‘doing the right things’.
Judgement is a weapon that cuts deeply, severing the bonds that, when intact, help us to recognize ourselves within our brother’s visage. Once the divide, created through judgement, exists, we can rationalize away any cruelty. That is the bane of the human experience.
There is another path… it doesn’t need to be this way.
The path beyond divisiveness begins as a treacherous path. It requires every individual to step outside of the comfort of their own ‘ways’, and let go of their own sense of righteousness. In relation to the goal of reconciliation between western and Indigenous ways, Indigenous leaders refer to ‘two-eyed seeing’. This is about being able to view circumstances and events from both perspectives. Two-eyed seeing is what is required.
Even those of us who’s experiences have required us to navigate between worlds struggle to adopt ‘two-eyed seeing’ because in many cases we’ve needed to shed our previous affiliations and identity in order to be successful in our transition into new social structures. The drive to 'fit in' can be all-consuming as the alternatives are to retreat, giving up on dreams and goals, or forever 'live on the edge'.
In my experience it is more common to disconnect from one's ancestral line and heritage than to try to live in harmony with the duality that being 'out of place' creates. Those of us who transition either develop a sense of shame around our origins and hide our 'illegitimate' beginnings, outwardly despising where we came from and inwardly struggling to love and value ourselves; or we’ve rewritten our history, demonizing or omitting the aspects of our previous identity that weren’t a good fit for the ideals that existed in our new community leaving us with a shallow and superficial connection to ourselves. Two-eyed seeing is an integration of two world views. It is about valuing each perspective and recognizing how each is valuable and worthy of consideration. It is about bringing our full story into our outward identity with acceptance and pride. In this way we move into our full potential to live in community.
I use the term 'two-eyed seeing' to describe the state we need to achieve in order to move from division to integration as we navigate the demands of community. There is only one path that allows us to understand the world from the eyes of another. It is filled with occasions for stories to be told, open-hearted listening, empathy and shared experience. I can not demand you conform to me. You can not demand I conform to you. Together we must choose a new path that we both will walk down because it is true and right for us. This is community. This must be our goal. When we can overcome our 'unwillingness to hear' our fellow community members, we will begin to walk the path. When we prioritize the need for coming into community and can build community structures that invite the type of sharing that is needed, we will be on our way.
