Post-Baby Boom Meets Gen-X

I feel compelled to comment on the current media controversy surrounding Tom Cruise. How can a self-respecting girl of 'The Top Gun' generation allow a moment like this to pass without saying something?

I would like to begin by creating an appropriate 'frame' for my comments. As a small town Canadian girl with limited perspective on teenage angst and the adventurous lifestyle available to my counterparts living a more cosmopolitan 'American' lifestyle, Tom (a.k.a Joel) set my imagination in motion and widened the expanse of possibility in Risky Business. Following this chaotic introduction to a more pampered and risque lifestyle, Phil Collins, 'In the Air Tonight' would set my heart reeling, leaving me breathless at the mere thought of an awe-inspiringly public intimate encounter. Recent exposure to this cult classic leaves me questioning a situation that would ever bring a glaringly pubescent boy and a worldly woman of (ugh) my age together.

If I could have seen past Pony Boy and Soda, I may have noticed Tom's charismatic presence in 'The Outsiders', perhaps the first time his shirtless and strikingly handsome presence crossed my awareness, only to be reinforced in the classic shirtless v-ball competition in Top Gun, clearly the movie of my generation, the only competition arising from another 40-ish superstar, Sean Penn as 'Jeff Spiccoli' in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Tom shows his stripes as a Tom Cat in Top Gun, and again wins my heart as the brooding adventure-seeker aptly tagged Maverick. Classic lines like, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you', and 'You can be my wing-man anytime', were overheard throughout the nightscene, spawning a fanatic following, and prompting me to re-enter Maverick's thrilling world over and again until I was delivering dialogue in-synch with the characters. Reintroduced to Top Gun due to my son's infatuation with jet planes, I find myself drawn to the deafening roar of the jets and I still feel my heart open wide as I hear, 'You Take My Breath Away,' amidst a vision of the passionate shadows joining; none other than a union-of-the-hearts to my romantic eye.

There were more, many more. Each time I gained a sense that I glimpsed the soul of this charismatic and charming man. Part of me yearning to be him, another yearning to be with him. Each time I felt his personna couldn't be much different from the adventurous and rakish characters he portrayed.

Within this frame, I see Tom Cruise as someone not unlike the rest of us broaching the midlife crest that 40 is. What is Katie Holmes in his life? Well, how could she be other than the refreshingly sweet Joey Potter? Filled with youth, exuberance and vitality, she is beginning her climb up the mountain of life with great zest. She is facing those 'coming of age' moments; so powerful, so filled with emotion. She provides Tom the chance to experience that time vicariously bringing him one step closer to that magical and magnetic time of years past. In retrospect it is sometimes sweeter, the emotional heddiness remains, but the angst and fear is gone. Although, without the anticipation of new experiences it becomes empty. Is Tom being drawn back to that time I loved so much, those coming of age moments, or to some mature and wise aspect of Katie we don't know? Only he knows for sure.

I only have one thought -- go where you must, but don't lose the Power of 40. Wisdom gained through this life -- whether that life be misspent or relished -- remains. 40 is our second chance, there is still more time, there is still energy; bring that learning together and maximize your life, put into motion all that you want to be. -- That is the Power of 40. Will Tom lose it keeping pace with the younger generation? Only if he forgets who he is...

His Scientology beliefs? I see these as his anchor. They help him remain grounded in the chaotic and publicly driven life he leads. They are rooted in positive life-affirming values -- what is the harm? How can it hurt? He speaks of his beliefs with great integrity and belief. Who are we to judge?

'Nuff said about that.

Life and Times at 2

The more time I spend with my 2-year-old son, the more I wish I could return to that age. Not that I would want to live through all the years between 2 and 37 again, maybe I would want to remain 2 forever!

From a two-year-old's point of view, life is a grand adventure, and the world revolves around them. Wouldn't it be nice to experience that again?

Over the past few weeks, since my son's vocabulary has finally caught up with his quick and changeable mind, I am shocked and amazed to discover the thoughts that fuel his antics. In mere moments he leads me through a myriad of emotions; anger, fear, uproarious laughter, pride, pleasure, and sometimes even pain.

An overwhelming desire to keep his car impeccably clean has driven hubby to declare his car a kid-free zone, at least most of the time. On the odd occasion when he is 'burdened' with sole responsibility for the boys and needs to beat a hasty retreat to his mom's (I'm exaggerating), he has no choice but to strap the boys into his car. This situation has not gone unnoticed by our perceptive 2-year-old, and he has come to realize that travel in the car is quite a special event. He now squeals in delight at the thought of going for a ride in Dad's car, and often gingerly walks around this off-limits vehicle, gently caressing the many sleek contours. 'Lights, mom', he declares knowingly. 'Wheels, mom', he coos as he grasps the hubs, leaving tiny fingerprints behind. What is it with the male gender and cars? Both boys have a strange passion for watching wheels turn, getting into prone position to see their tiny Hot Wheels tires hit the floor, mesmerized by the turning wheels, repeating the action over and over. This infatuation with wheels is beyond the comprehension of my female brain.

The three males in my house ventured out to the football game two nights ago. I was treated to a relaxing night of study on my own, and the boys experienced their first football game from row 3 above the 50-yard-line. I love the atmosphere at a football game, and even more so when I can be amidst the action, so was regretting my decision to be studious. The evening was a great hit. 7-year-old made it to the big screen and came home with a football and t-shirt. 2-year-old entered the house at 10pm excitedly pronouncing that, 'He fell on the train!' We're still not sure what he means by that, but the LRT ride to and from the game definitely was the highlight of his evening.

We made the trek out to Pappa Paul's a few weeks ago. I braved the 2-hour trip driving my brother's van with our 4 kids, 2 toddlers and 2 7-year-olds while they were entranced with the antics of Patrick and Sponge-bob playing on the built-in DVD system. What luxury! The experience on the farm was a big hit with the toddlers, they oohed at the horses, and wouldn't leave the tiny battery powered jeep, much to the chagrine of the 7-year-olds. Every time 2-year-old talks to Pappa and Gamma on the phone he asks about the jeep, and his eyes light up, anticipating his next adventure on the farm.

Along with these excited expressions of discovery, new ways to express his willfulness are quickly emerging. NO BED! NO JAMAS! are very adamantly and clearly declared followed by a mad dash through the house with mama trailing behind. WATCH WIGGLES! MY CAR! and HE HURT MY HEAD! are all declarations that drive 7-year-old crazy and balance the scales of power in the house.

Our habits are becoming apparent to us as 2-year-old begins to question our activities, "Daddy at work?", "Mom's -puter?", "Daddy's wine?", "Going for a run?", "Momma golf?", "Boys at school?".

Yes, a 2-year-old's lifestyle is something to aspire to, but living with one is almost as fun!